How to repair a broken relationship
1. Recognition and responsibility
1. Honest admission of guilt.
Formulate a clear "I-message": "I understand that with my bets I undermined your trust and caused pain."
Avoid excuses and "buts": direct recognition shows your respect for your partner's feelings.
2. Responsibility for consequences.
List specific facts: account delinquencies, lack of time, lies.
Ask for forgiveness: "I'm sorry that I..." and give loved ones time to react.
2. Open and respectful communication
80/20 rule. 80% of the time listen, 20% speak.
"I-messages." Focus on your experiences, not accusations.
3. Small steps to renew trust
1. Transparency of finances.
Share expense items: total budget in spreadsheet or attachment.
Weekly report: what and where spent, without "black boxes."
2. Compliance with agreements.
If you promised not to go to gaming sites - delete applications and transfer passwords to a loved one.
Record each of your obligations and note the fulfillment in the general checklist.
3. Regular "check-ins."
Short meeting 10-15 minutes once a week: "How we both feel that we succeeded, what's worrying."
Set the time and format unchanged (sitting at a table or walking).
4. Reconnecting emotionally
1. New joint rituals.
Weekly "evening without gadgets": board games, films, walks.
Little joint traditions: morning coffee together, evening reading aloud.
2. Positive experiences.
Plan together one small event a week (master class, exhibition, sports).
Fix emotions: after activity, discuss what you liked the most.
3. Practice of gratitude.
Keep a "bank of acknowledgements": write down one thing every day for which you are grateful to your partner.
Once a month, read the records and celebrate progress.
5. Dealing with conflicts and pain points
Suspension technique. If the conversation heats up, agree to take five deep breaths and reformat the discussion in 5 minutes.
6. External support
1. Family or couple counseling.
A professional psychologist will help remove "stuck" grievances and build a new model of communication.
2. Support groups for relatives.
Anonymous groups where loved ones share their experience of rebuilding relationships.
3. Co-ed.
Attend financial management and family interaction trainings.
7. Monitoring Recovery Progress
Collaborative journal. Maintain a document or attachment where both contribute key data and ratings.
Restoring broken relationships is honesty, transparency and consistency. Confession of guilt, respectful listening, clear agreements and new joint rituals create the basis for trust to return and relationships to become stronger than before addiction.
1. Honest admission of guilt.
Formulate a clear "I-message": "I understand that with my bets I undermined your trust and caused pain."
Avoid excuses and "buts": direct recognition shows your respect for your partner's feelings.
2. Responsibility for consequences.
List specific facts: account delinquencies, lack of time, lies.
Ask for forgiveness: "I'm sorry that I..." and give loved ones time to react.
2. Open and respectful communication
| Conversation Stage | Sample Phrases |
|---|---|
| Introduction | "It's important for me to discuss our relationship and what happened" |
| Expression of feelings | "I felt fear and shame when..." |
| Listening | "Tell me how you survived these events?" |
| Joint search for a solution | "What do you think will help restore trust?" |
80/20 rule. 80% of the time listen, 20% speak.
"I-messages." Focus on your experiences, not accusations.
3. Small steps to renew trust
1. Transparency of finances.
Share expense items: total budget in spreadsheet or attachment.
Weekly report: what and where spent, without "black boxes."
2. Compliance with agreements.
If you promised not to go to gaming sites - delete applications and transfer passwords to a loved one.
Record each of your obligations and note the fulfillment in the general checklist.
3. Regular "check-ins."
Short meeting 10-15 minutes once a week: "How we both feel that we succeeded, what's worrying."
Set the time and format unchanged (sitting at a table or walking).
4. Reconnecting emotionally
1. New joint rituals.
Weekly "evening without gadgets": board games, films, walks.
Little joint traditions: morning coffee together, evening reading aloud.
2. Positive experiences.
Plan together one small event a week (master class, exhibition, sports).
Fix emotions: after activity, discuss what you liked the most.
3. Practice of gratitude.
Keep a "bank of acknowledgements": write down one thing every day for which you are grateful to your partner.
Once a month, read the records and celebrate progress.
5. Dealing with conflicts and pain points
| Conflict type | How to act |
|---|---|
| Resentments and reproaches | Active listening, paraphrasing ("I hear you're angry because..."). |
| Mistrust and suspicion | Offer check points: "You can check statements at any time." |
| Fear of repetition | Demonstrate specific control steps (site blocking, reports). |
Suspension technique. If the conversation heats up, agree to take five deep breaths and reformat the discussion in 5 minutes.
6. External support
1. Family or couple counseling.
A professional psychologist will help remove "stuck" grievances and build a new model of communication.
2. Support groups for relatives.
Anonymous groups where loved ones share their experience of rebuilding relationships.
3. Co-ed.
Attend financial management and family interaction trainings.
7. Monitoring Recovery Progress
| Period | Indicators | How to rate |
|---|---|---|
| 1 month | Regularity of "check-ins," reports | 4 meetings/4 reports without passes |
| 3 months | Share of conflicts vs. positive meetings | Event log: no more than 1 dispute per week |
| 6 months | Trust level (0-10) | Assessment by both parties |
| 12 months | Stability of finances and relations | Absence of serious incidents in 6 months |
Collaborative journal. Maintain a document or attachment where both contribute key data and ratings.
Restoring broken relationships is honesty, transparency and consistency. Confession of guilt, respectful listening, clear agreements and new joint rituals create the basis for trust to return and relationships to become stronger than before addiction.
