How to discuss a game problem with a friend or partner
Introduction
Talking about gambling problems requires tact and preparation. Not knowing how to approach a topic can cause a defensive reaction or distance a person. This guide contains concrete steps for constructive dialogue: from collecting facts to proposals for support.
1. Feature recognition
Behavior change: lengthy online sessions, attempts to hide transaction history, constant thoughts about rates.
Emotional signals: irritability at the mention of the game, depression after losses, the desire to "recoup."
Social consequences: financial difficulties, quarrels in the family, rejection of familiar hobbies.
2. Preparing for a conversation
1. Collect specific facts: dates and amounts of large losses, cases of unfulfilled promises.
2. Define a goal: not to criticize, but to offer help and control options.
3. Choose a supportive tone: use "I-messages" ("I noticed...," "I worry that..."), not accusations.
3. Timing and location
Neutral setting: a calm room without distractions.
The right moment: when a person is sober and not busy with sharp emotions.
Duration: Plan no more than 30-40 minutes to avoid fatigue.
4. Conversation structure
1. Discovery: "I want to talk about what I care about..."
2. Facts and observations: clearly and without estimates: "During the last month you spend several hours a day on bets..."
3. Emotions and care: "I worry that this is reflected in your mood and finances..."
4. Questions to understand:
5. Active listening techniques
Paraphrasing: "If I understood correctly, do you think that bonuses help to recoup?"
Expression of empathy: "I understand how I want to return the losses..."
No interruptions: Let speak out until the end, even if you find it hard to keep quiet.
6. Working with protective reactions
Calm tone: keep an even pace of speech and soft intonation.
Respect for personal boundaries: if a person asks to postpone the conversation, agree on a time to continue.
Avoiding ultimatums: the phrases "or throw" lead to rejection.
7. Suggestions for concrete steps
Setting limits: Add daily/weekly account limits together.
Self-exclusion: the option of temporary blocking for 24-72 hours via BetStop.
Alternative activities: Suggest replacing evening bets with a shared walk or hobby.
Contact for support: Gambler's Help hotline (1800 858 858), online chats and support groups.
8. Post-call support
Regular follow-up: Check how a person copes after a few days.
Joint reports: suggest keeping a simple journal together - amounts, time, emotional state.
Encouraging small wins: Celebrate every day with no bets or successfully meet limits.
Conclusion
Frank and structured dialogue is key to making a loved one feel your support, not judgment. Clear preparation, active listening and concrete steps to control bets will help maintain trust, get involved in the process and develop safe gambling habits together.
Talking about gambling problems requires tact and preparation. Not knowing how to approach a topic can cause a defensive reaction or distance a person. This guide contains concrete steps for constructive dialogue: from collecting facts to proposals for support.
1. Feature recognition
Behavior change: lengthy online sessions, attempts to hide transaction history, constant thoughts about rates.
Emotional signals: irritability at the mention of the game, depression after losses, the desire to "recoup."
Social consequences: financial difficulties, quarrels in the family, rejection of familiar hobbies.
2. Preparing for a conversation
1. Collect specific facts: dates and amounts of large losses, cases of unfulfilled promises.
2. Define a goal: not to criticize, but to offer help and control options.
3. Choose a supportive tone: use "I-messages" ("I noticed...," "I worry that..."), not accusations.
3. Timing and location
Neutral setting: a calm room without distractions.
The right moment: when a person is sober and not busy with sharp emotions.
Duration: Plan no more than 30-40 minutes to avoid fatigue.
4. Conversation structure
1. Discovery: "I want to talk about what I care about..."
2. Facts and observations: clearly and without estimates: "During the last month you spend several hours a day on bets..."
3. Emotions and care: "I worry that this is reflected in your mood and finances..."
4. Questions to understand:
- "How do you feel after the sessions?"
- "What do you expect from further bets?"
- 5. Offering help: "I'm ready to support you: set limits together, contact Gambler's Help or just talk when it's hard..."
5. Active listening techniques
Paraphrasing: "If I understood correctly, do you think that bonuses help to recoup?"
Expression of empathy: "I understand how I want to return the losses..."
No interruptions: Let speak out until the end, even if you find it hard to keep quiet.
6. Working with protective reactions
Calm tone: keep an even pace of speech and soft intonation.
Respect for personal boundaries: if a person asks to postpone the conversation, agree on a time to continue.
Avoiding ultimatums: the phrases "or throw" lead to rejection.
7. Suggestions for concrete steps
Setting limits: Add daily/weekly account limits together.
Self-exclusion: the option of temporary blocking for 24-72 hours via BetStop.
Alternative activities: Suggest replacing evening bets with a shared walk or hobby.
Contact for support: Gambler's Help hotline (1800 858 858), online chats and support groups.
8. Post-call support
Regular follow-up: Check how a person copes after a few days.
Joint reports: suggest keeping a simple journal together - amounts, time, emotional state.
Encouraging small wins: Celebrate every day with no bets or successfully meet limits.
Conclusion
Frank and structured dialogue is key to making a loved one feel your support, not judgment. Clear preparation, active listening and concrete steps to control bets will help maintain trust, get involved in the process and develop safe gambling habits together.
